Here is the chapter 4 review!
Title: Stepping Heavenward
Author: Elizabeth Prentiss
Published: Originally published: in 1869. It has been republished several times over the years. The particular book I'm reviewing is a paperback that was published in 2001 by Solid Ground Christian Books. (I know that Lamplighter has also published Stepping Heavenward in a hardback book)
Background Information: See previous posts entitled "Stepping Heavenward"
Stepping Heavenward...
Shortly after Charley and Katy become engaged, Katy comes down with a serious cold. Charley is somewhat surprised with her tendency toward coughing and worries that she might be prone to consumption (consumption was very common back in those days and generally it was associated with coughing along with other nasty things that we won't get into here :-) ) Charley doesn't like to here Katy cough, because it reminds him of his mother who died of consumption. Katy gets worse and worries that she may die, Charley tells her he has to stay away until she gets better, Katy also wonders if they were married, if Charley would leave if she has a cough.
Katy soon comes to the conclusion that she must break off their engagement, so as to not have Charley "suffer" with her poor health. She comes to think of her self-sacrifice as "beautiful" and soon writes a note to tell Charley the engagement is off.
Charley writes a note back and thanks her for bringing the engagement to the end and tells her when watching his mother die he "vowed never to marry a consumptive woman" towards the end he writes; "I hope the consolations of religion will now be yours. Your notes, the lock of your hair, etc. I return with this. I will not reproach you for the pain you have cost me; I know it is not your fault that your health has become so frail" (p 35).
Katy is insulted by the reply and informs him in another note that "the scales have fallen from my eyes." Katy consulted with the doctors and they told her that the sickness is not "alarming" and she will soon recover. She tells him that she gave him the opportunity to break off the engagement not thinking he would take her up on it, but continue to support her. She ends by saying: "I thought I loved a man, and could lean on him when strength failed me. I know now that I loved a mere creature of my imagination" She returns his letters and ring and says "and find, if you can, a woman who will never be sick, never out of spirits, and who never will die. "
He replies saying--"Thank God it is not Kate Mortimer. I want an angel for my wife, not a vixen" (p 35).
Katy then tells her mother about the letters, the broken engagement, etc. Her mother says "God has heard my prayers! He is reserving better things for my precious child!"
The whole experience also has resulted in drawing Katy closer to God.
Later Amelia comes to visit Katy and reproaches her for breaking off the engagement before she consulted with the doctors. Katy attempt to make it clear that she is still glad it is off, since she knows Charley's true character. Amelia also tells Katy that Charley's uncle is going to make Charley his heir and Charley will become rich.
Less than a month after Katy and Charley's engagement is broken, Charley becomes engaged to Amelia. Katy is still upset by the news, however, she gets over it and finds herself wanting to find true happiness. Soon after the news of the engagement she goes to see her pastor, Dr. Cabot. Katy explains her frustrations to him, and he tells her that while everything she is explaining to him is true, that God loves her. Katy has trouble believing him that God does love her, he tells her to go home and say to herself: "I am a wayward foolish child. But He loves me! I have disobeyed and grieved Him ten thousand times over. But He loves me! I have lost faith in some of my dearest friends and am very desolate. But He loves me! I do not love Him, I am very angry with Him! But He loves me!" (p 39).
Katy goes home thinking of this and kneels down to pray. She writes: "all my wasted, childish, wicked life came and stared me in the face. I looked at it and said with tears of joy, "But He loves me!" Never in my life did I feel so rested, so quieted, so sorrowful, and yet so satisfied" (p 39).
The next several pages Katy writes about how her mother is glad that she finally has peace. She writes about more visits with Dr. Cabot and how he helps her. Dr. Cabot also tells Katy that she should try to talk to her mother about some of her concerns. Katy has a hard time explaining why she can't talk to her mother and says--"But we girls can't talk to our mothers about any of our sacred feelings, and we hate to have them talk to us." Dr. Cabot feels that something is wrong somewhere and says "A young girl's mother is her natural refuge in every perplexity." (p 42). He also encourages/reminds Katy that she is still a baby in Christ and encourages her to do things for God's glory.
Katy later discusses with him that she is troubled by the fact she doesn't know the exact moment when she became a "real Christian." He encourages her not to worry about the moment but says: "The question is not, do you remember, my child, when you entered this world, and how! It is simply this, are you now alive and an inhabitant thereof?" (p 42). (to clarify--Dr.Cabot is referring to the world of being a Christian)
Several more pages go on about how Katy is getting on in her "new" life. She still feels frustrated at times, and especially when her mother talks to her about her "disorderly" habits. Katy then goes again to see Dr. Cabot, but ends up talking to his wife instead. Katy tells her how she wants to do some really "good" for Christ, but can't think of how or what do. Mrs. Cabot encourages her to do her "daily duties" for Him, and that will make Him happy. Katy is surprised by this thought and asks "And do you really think that God notices such little things?" (p 47) Mrs. Cabot says:
"If there is any one truth I would gladly impress on the mind of a young Christian, it is just this, that God notices the most trivial act, accepts the poorest, most threadbare little service, listens to the coldest, feeblest petition, and gathers up with parental fondness all our fragmentary desires and attempts at good works. Oh, if we could only begin to conceive how He loves us, what different creatures we would be!" (p 47)
Katy goes home feeling "inspired by her enthusiasm" even though she isn't quite sure exactly what she means. Katy starts changing some of her habits, and her mother is surprised to see how nicely Katy is keeping things. Katy also muses that if God notices every little thing she does to please Him, that He must also notice every cross word we speak, every shrug of the shoulders, every ungracious look, and that they displease Him. And my list of such offenses is as long as my life!" (p 47).
Katy writes about how one day she feels cheerful and the next she writes how she is missing Amelia's friendship. Her mother encourages her and tells her that she has been living a long time for herself and that now she must live for others. She encourages Katy to take a Sunday School class and go with her to visit poor people. Katy is not very excited about the idea--she feels her time is fully occupied with books, music and drawing, and she hates a sickroom. :-) However, she decides that she will take a Sunday School.
More to follow later!
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